letsfucktillthesunscomesup:

　The scariest thing about distance is that you don’t know whether they’ll miss you or forget you..

I’m so disappointed in myself. I worked so hard, I knew I messed up so much. I really wanted to make it though. I felt like so many people wanted me to and I just let them and myself down. Especially Esteban. He wanted me to make it as much as I wanted to make it. I knew that when I spoke about my weakness in confidence that it would hurt me. Why? Why did I mention it? I ruined my chances by saying that. I was just being honest though. Ugh. I hate this. I really wanted to make it this year. Now I just have to hold myself together. But I bombed Section Leader tryouts as well, so I’m nothing. And even though I’m technically “Vice President” I don’t do much anyway. So I guess I’ll just focus on my grades and planning prom next year. Yaaay.

I’m so tired of people. Especially when they start talking bad about me or just don’t like me without actually getting to know me. Like if you’re not a close friend of mine, I’m probably going to be awkward around you and seem rude. Also, if you’re not a close friend of mine, you probably won’t know when I’m not a good mood, so you shouldn’t take offense. I really can be one of the nicest people you’ll meet. No one seems to be open minded to me anymore, so whatever I guess. Cooooool.